Have you ever wanted to call in sick to work because you had cramps, heavy bleeding, been emotionally and physically exhausted and didn’t feel like being half naked in a room full of people, where you are the main focus? I found myself facing that very situation. At a recent shoot for O,
the Oprah Magazine, where I’d been asked to model lingerie for their yearly Body Issue, a testament to body love and self acceptance, but this time, I couldn’t call out sick.
As I walked into the brightly lit photography studio, I saw the racks of nude lingerie awaiting me, as well as my co-model for the shoot, a beautiful, elegant size-zero model resembling
Lupita Nyong’o.…
Of course you’re interested in knowing my fashionably professional, non-judgmental uninformed football opinion on who will win Super Bowl 2014. The reason you may care is because if I pick the winner and get anywhere near the right final score, you may just say, hey this red head knows a thing or two about predicting a game based solely on the uniforms and the image each coach portrays.…
I’ve been having a ton of sex lately. It’s been pretty amazing. It happens about 3-4 times a day. Sometimes it’s long carried out passionate sessions and sometimes they are brief–small and just the right amount.
I entered this relationship about a year ago. It began rather slowly. We were kids when we met. Who is this person you ask? Well, it’s not a person. …
I abbreviate almost everything. So if I were to rewrite the previous sentence it would read:
I abreev ev. These are common Bern (what my friends call me) terms my friends hear me use:
PMS= Perfect Man Shoe
LSD= Long Sexy Dress (you must be height appropriate to make LSD work)
LBD= Little Black Dress
BS= Blue Shoes
SIT ON YOUR MOUTH= (Loose Hungarian to English saying)= Stop Talking
YUMMA LAMMA DING DONG= Delicious, Thank You, More Please
LYLT= Love You Long Time
BALOOBAS= Insanity/Crazy/Out Of This World
FU-N= Fun
BONJOUR= Hello
MERRY CHRISTMAS= When I Say Bye to Someone Cuz Everyone is Usually so Damn Cheery During the Holidays
NOSTUESO= No one speaks twice until everyone speaks once (learned this during my corps year at
City Year).
(If you even think about using my material you can deal with my size 9.5…
